I am Pondering My Purpose, My Theme, Who-What I AM

I am sitting here listening to meditation music on YouTube and drawing new Zentangle patterns. Its been a pleasant peaceful day alone. Perhaps my purpose, which I have struggled to be clear on for the last few years, perhaps it has something to do with freedom.

The freedom to be or do anything I wish. The freedom to explore who I am. The freedom to just BE who and what I am withOUT having to define it. Just to be it. Just to BE!

I drew my hand – isn’t it lovely

Is it my theme?

maybe.

And maybe I do not have to have an answer. Maybe an answer would be too limiting, too off-purpose for me. An answer in words or concepts isn’t the real answer.

I am not needed to say the right thing. I am only required to BE the right thing. ~Sri Chinmoy

The real answer is in how I feel and what I emanate. Maybe I am joy, oneness, relationship, experience. And more. How I feel, the expression of inner feelings maybe, is a closer expression of who I really am then words or concepts. And sometimes, it seems that flowing movements is an expression close to the truth. Dancing, Taichi, drawing, singing and making music are all much closer. Though all expressions, while completely fulfilling, satisfying and joyful and even blissful for the moment, are not exactly the whole truth of who I AM. Constant changing, flowing, feeling, expressing inwardly as well as outwardly…

I love drawing spirals and purples, greens and blues

Am I Quiet? I Am Feeling Therefore, I Think Not…

I recall once when I became aware of being a “seperate” being. A man visiting my mother looked down at me and said, “You are being so quiet”. I did not see it that way. To my perception and experience, I was all the expression in the room, all the people talking, laughing, being together. I was expressing myself, as feeling, as experience. This is who I AM. All This is who I AM.

All This is who I AM!